Friday, September 08, 2006

So much furore over a song!

This past week was rather unusually eventful - with once again murder, corruption, sleaze and vote-bank politics dominating headlines. Ho hum, NEWS has become so damn boring, with the exception of Avantika Singh ofcourse! :P .... But as I said, never before have I seen so much of votebank politics (Vande Mataram controversy), murder-cases(Jessica Lal, Priyadarshini Matoo, Prof Sabharwaal), etc within the span of a week.

Anyways, coming to the point, the one issue which really did bother me was the Vande Mataram controversy. Read these artciles from Mumbai Mirror - Report1 and Report2. Also read Times of India's Page on the controversy - its a great read.

Now, there seems to be a furore over this song, that to the average man seems completely unjustified. I mean, what is going on people?! Here we are - a supposedly independant and democratic country, a supposedly future "super-power" - and we are fighting on whether Savarkar's portrait must be given place in Govt buildings and on whether we make recitatioon of Vande Mataram compulsory for all citizens!!

I mean, to the politicians, a couple of points -
1. We are short of more than 1,00,000MW of power
2. We are rated 127th in the 2005 U.N. Human Development Index (below Turkmenistan, Azerbaijan, etc - but thankfully for our politicians above Pakistan - thats the only thing that seems to matter to our netas)
So you see, dearest Netas, we have some REAL issues on which to discuss and debate!!

The BJP, however, seems to have found an amazing consensus over the song, so much so that the song could prove to be the saving grace for a party that has become the laughing stock of the country - they call it the 'baniyan' party. Obviously, it wants to milch the cow when its giving all the milk. But just imagine when more than one BJP MP was asked by CNN IBN and TimesNOW and NDTV to recite the song and they floundered! They couldnt even get past the 1st line! Ditto with the Congress ke netas! :D

But what really was the nail in the coffin was when BJP MP and former I&B minister Ravi Shankar Prasad was asked to recite the song, his response was so evasive that it transgressed the limits of hypocrisy. Another "sample" among our politicians is the Muslim BJP MP Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi, who conjured up a word or two of his own while reciting the 1st stanza of the song, all this with lots of prodding by the journo - what was absolutely hilarious was the journo prompting Naqvi to recite words/phrases which were manufactured and totally out of context. What a great nation we live in! Our netas make mountains out of molehills - thats tolerable - but when they dont know a f**k about what they are making an issue of! Then well, what can I say!

Then there are the Mullahs from the Darool Uloom of Deoband and many other associated Madrassas - they object to recitation of the song because it "goes against Islam". They say that Muslims are allowed to consider only Allah as worth worshipping, that they can only sing praises for Allah - I mean no offense to anyone, but how in God's name (or Allah's name) is the recitation of a beautiful song that praises the motherland be in violation of Islam?! But I am not singing BJP's tune of enforcing it upon anyone (coz they dont know the damn song in the 1st place!), but to offer an excuse by saying "it violates Islam" is not something I can fathom.

But I am indulging in meaningless ranting .... See, I should be coming up with concrete solutions - Infact I have. You know what - Chuck Vande Mataram! Thats right - chuck it - throw Bankim Chandra Chatterjee's beautiful creation out of the window!

Instead of Chatterjee, you know what - we must pick a song from our own Himesh bhai! His songs have an uncanny and hidden reference to our motherland. And besides, Bankim Chatterjee with a beard and a baseball cap can pass of as the great Himeshji! :P

So, here are some suggestions for prospective Himesh tunes that could be adopted as an anthem:
1. Aashiq Banaya Aapne - Himesh
bhai is praising the motherland for arousing the Romeo within him! :P

2. All day All Night, Teri Yaad Sataye - Himesh
bhai recites his 24/7 brand of Patriotism! :P

3. Zara Jhoom Jhoom - Himesh bhai is calling upon all Indians (be it BJP/Arjun Singh or Congress/YFE :P) to unite and 'Jhoom' in the glory of India

4. Yeh Meri Meri Zohrajhabi - Himesh
bhai refers to India as "Zohrajhabi" and then uses words like 'furkat' with his melodious (nasal) voice to confess his love for his motherland :P

5. Naam hai Tera Tera - Himesh
bhai confesses that 'India' resides in his heart and sole :P

Just imagine these songs being sung by 10year old school-children in schools across the country, as they recount their love for their motherland! Just imagine these songs being played in Theatres accompanying a fluttering tricolour on the screen! Just imagine Kajol's son singing these songs Phirangi style in K3G!! :P .... I sure have made the national song either a lot 'kooler' or very corny! :P

I am sure that passions and tempers will once again rise in the country. And the BJP and Congress will make Himesh the ringside joker, who gets all the bouquets and brickbats, as they indulge in a political slug-fest that aims at achieving nothing in particular. And the Mullahs will be quite happy to sing along Himeshji's wonderful tunes. Ofcourse, there will be an open war between Himeshji's loyal fans and the Anti-Himesh brigade, which will threaten peace and stability within the country (quite literally by the playing of his songs). But atleast that way, we dont make a mockery out of a beautiful song called "Vande Mataram".

See, now thats a solution!! Here's looking forward to Himeshji's wonderful compositions as our nation's anthems!! :P

PS: I am not a Himesh fan. Infact quite the opposite - I belong to the "Anti-Himesh Brigade". I chose to satirize Himesh(ji) by offering him my"respects".

PS2: I have provided Himesh fan link so that we (the United Alliance of Anti-Himesh Associatons) can bring it down :P


nandu said...

gud post re...aaj kal tu bahut sochne laga hai...gud comparisons

Rajiv Iyer said...

@Nandu - thou art my loyal and regular reader! thou shall be rewarded! :P .... hey thx a lot for being the 1st to comment as usual .... haan boss, main bahut sochta hoon - isiliye xams mein itna phat gaya hai :P

Chinmay said...

Thanks, first time I ever realised and understood the thought provoking ingenious lyrics.. too strong words for our bureaucratic friends, I agree must be camouflaged with nasal music... but will this painstaking effort of 'Himesh-ji' make a difference? Our netas - kisi ko bhi topi pehna sakte hain, Himesh-ji is no exception, he wears one all the time. I'm glad that there still exists a social reformer like Kabirdas, Rahim and Meerabai who's songs though cryptic will be remembered for ages. My salutation to Himesh-ji - the true patriot ;).